Funk

Boy have I been in a funk lately. With the news about my friend, my complete lack of a social life, job stuffs, then the last few rather troubling articles we wrote - damn I just can't seem to get excited/happy/not bummed out. It's a pretty rare feeling for me - I'm generally pretty up tempo and chipper (if a bit cranky).

So.. I'll relate a little sumpin that recently happened that gave me a little bit of a smile. I went to the local super-duper-mega market to get some stuff. Being both careless and eco-friendly (in that order I'm sure) I walked the 10 or so blocks to the store. About half way there I had this gripping urge to tinkle. I picked up the pace and scooted to the store. Thankfully surprised to find an open stall in the women's room, I jumped in.

I came out and washed my hands. When I noticed two women giving me a less than complimentary look. Steeling myself for some comment or challenge I met their gazes. The older of the women stifled a giggle (great someone laughing at a tranny). Then she pointed out that I had tucked my skirt inside my panties with a shared mirth of something every woman has done in her life.

Being one to (over) process things. I spent my time getting some fixin's for burritos and thinking. Thinking about how sometimes we create our own conflicts. How in my desire to be accepted on my own merits (not as "trans" not as "woman") can sometimes make me see things in ways that are not how they are intended. And how, ultimately, everyone needs a moment to laugh at the stupid shit.

This unknown woman in a super market bathroom, kindly and jokingly pointing out that was showing my ass was the exact thing I needed to bust down a self-created wall I was starting to build. While keeping in mind that bad shit happens to all kinds of people, and particularly lately trans women, I can't let that limit me or sour me.