Recently, I went out with a local guy I met on the Internet. I wasn't expecting anything, and wouldn't have mentioned this date except for how gloriously wrong it was.
Mind you, I was not expecting "Mr Right" or even "Mr Right Now". I just wanted to go out and meet a new person. If things "clicked" that would have been a bonus. Anyway, after a week of emails and the odd IM, we set up a meting for late afternoon. I was interviewing for a job and told him so, in case I was late. I was also going to be close to his place, so we decided to meet there. I show up, a little early.
Not only does he not look like how he described himself (not a big deal since It's the Internet, and a dating site.. folks fudge that stuff all the time) but he answers the door in grubby old sweat pants and a t-shirt. I figure he isn't ready yet, and I am a little early. I apologize for being early. He gets this HUGE grin as as looks me up and down and thanks me for stopping over. He's being a little nervous which I think is cute, so he's making up points for not being close to what I expected.
He invites me in and offers a seat and a drink. I decline both (safety you know) and ask if he had any thoughts on where we could eat, or maybe he wanted a casual coffee or something. He looked at me like I was speaking Klingon... "Oh, you'd like to go out??... sure we can do that. You look pretty good". I should have bolted at this point... he was surprised that I wanted to go in public... and THEN my looks were what made it OK to do so. I stayed..silly girl..
He grabbed his house keys and made for the door. In those sweat pants and the t-shirt... Here I am, dressed to impress.. and he wants to take me out looking like he just got home from the gym. I figure what the heck, goodness knows I resent having to put in the effort to look stunning for guys, so maybe he's just telling me he isn't expecting me to always be dolled up - that would be cool.
We go down stairs and he takes me to his car. In a stupid lapse of thought I get in rather than take my car. We drive maybe 3 blocks to a McDonalds ... yes a freaking McDonalds. It isn't like there were no other places, there were some local restaurants as well as some nice affordable sit-down places. But here we were... I ordered some fries and a coke.
Conversation hit the two BIG points for lots of guys. He isn't gay, AND he was afraid that I wouldn't look good in person. Yes, the man who lied about his appearance and can't be bothered to put on proper pants was worried about how *I* looked. He noticed that I was only eating fries, and assumed it was on a diet. Oh.. did I mention that I had to pay for my own food.. I'm no princess, so I don't really care about paying my way on a date. I actually insist on it so the guy doesn't feel I'm obligated to sex him up later. But is IS nice to have the offer.
"Dinner" is finally over and I have a headache from a room full of screaming kids. We go to his place and get out of the car. He invites me up..more like expects me to follow him up. When he notices that I'm not following he turns around and.... makes it very clear he is expecting sex "now that we have that stuff out of the way... we can get down to business". He is greeted with an arched eyebrow and a frown as I head to the car.
He urges me to hurry because his GIRLFRIEND will be home in an hour and he wants to make sure we have enough time. He didn't mention a girlfriend before .. I ask about her. It seems that she is on her period and he wanted to get some sex, so called me.
And finally.. when I was clear I was getting into my car, not getting into his bed, and not at all pleased...he opened his wallet showing me a wad of cash. Pointed to the contents and then his crotch.
I have been on great dates with super guys, I've been on dates that just didn't go anywhere, I've been on dates where the guy insulted me or embarassed me.. I have never had such a completely bad date.. nothing was even "ok" .. it was stupid and pathetic and I could have used that time to paint my toenails or something...Just venting a bit and begging anyone who reads this.. don't be THAT guy.
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9 comments:
You should have maced him preferably with the old medieval one with the steel flanged head, or better yet a morningstar mace. I have dated 3 TG woman, only 1 of which was there any physical intimacy beyond kissing, that being the one I'm still trying to date. Any man who expects you to "put out" for them at a moments notice is s slime-mold imho. You can do better. There are some guys out there who want to have a REAL relationship, one not based upon sex, but upon mutual compatibility, respect, and real friendship. I hope you find it.
Haha, I would have but they tend to get heavy and fit poorly in a purse.
I think it was the assumption I was "for hire". I had mentioned to him at one point that I resented men who are looking for a free escort... maybe he took that the wrong way. Either way, he called later and I gave him an ear full.
Oh, honey... and you even ate inside the McDonald's?
I was hungry... :/
I would hope that you gave him an earful and a half. The presumptiousness of him to think your "easy" or for "hire" is simpy astounding to me. No, not really. I know how many testosterone laden idjits there are out there, and unfortunately they are the rule rather than the exception.
Interesting story. But it is foolhardy to meet a stranger at his home on the first date. You could arrange to meet him in a cafe or something. Anyway, I like the sense of humour and satire evident all over your essays.
Hey sesame, glad you posted!
Yeah I should have met him in public, and normally I would have. No excuses, I just thought that daylight/early evening would have been safe. I know better, and would advise anyone else to meet in public. I'll take my medicine and hang my head in shame.
Be eager for your Job interview,
thats important 'cause it supports us through thick n thin.
But dont be so eager for a date, that you shake off all safety to thin air.
Smart and spicy, hot and sour thats what you are. Guys would queue up to get a date with you.
;) Believe me.
I had a few weeks of Emails with this guy, sounded nice, a few convos on the 'phone, so set up a meet in a public place. Hmmm...a no-show. Anyway, had a nice lunch (by myself), and went to visit my brother in the area, so it wasn't a wash.
O/K, few days later a 'phone call from mister "X" (the Unknown). Apologising for the non-event (he got cold feet). So I was very cavalier and wrapped it up by saying "call me whenever...".
So he calls after a week or so and wants to meet again. I suggest a Starbux near me at a time that's convenient for me. Surprise: another no-show. I kinda expected it this time, but it was now an experiment, and it was on my terms. Anyway, I had a relaxing hour (a rare event these days) and got to finish "The Silmarillion".
"Fool me once...".
I really am enjoying time by myself - suspect a lot of us are getting used to that also.
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