Who's THAT Girl?

Well, it may be more effective to say what I'm not..

I am neither a CD (Cross Dresser) or a TV (Transvestite). Both of these are quite fine things to be, but not my thing. For me "Dressing up" putting on makeup, panties, matching my purse and my shoes isn't particularly fun, I don't get a thrill out of it - let's face it, I'm getting up an hour earlier than I used to to put on a face for work... not exactly hyper glam that.. My taste in clothes isn't particularly "girlie" .. lace kinda itches and overly ruffled clothes kinda confuse me. I wear the female version of the clothes I wore as a man (hoodies cut for the fem body, jeans, sneakers, etc). I own dresses, but they are more of a fun retro/ironic thing or simple and understated.. no bangles and boas here.... (So, not a CD with a hyped up idea of "femininity")

Contrary to popular belief I (and most TSs) do not "get off" dressing up. Putting on women's clothes is about as sexual as crossing the street. It is what it is and perhaps a means to an end. Some gals and guys too (ya norty panty bois..god love ya) find feminizing to be highly erotic, and good on ya!! It can be. Feeling sexy for me is a head to toe thing, so clothes do play a part..as does smell, and taste, and background noise. But specific articles of clothing are not erotically charged for me.

So, I have ruled out two of the Big Three.. that leaves Trans-Sexual. But, golly, that's a word with lots of meaning for lots of different people. I will only address this from my own perspective, with some insights from others I have gathered along the way. At the very very most basic level of understanding for me - I should have been born female. Before I was 5 years old, for example, I'd tell my playmates that I was a girl. My mom even wrote a letter to my Kindergarten teacher explaining that I sometimes think I'm a girl. What does this all mean??

It means that the way I think is female (not "feminine").. not in an obsessed with shoes stereotype, but in the way I process information. The way I respond to my environment. The way I communicate to people. The particular tasks I do well vs. the tasks I do poorly. Obviously, the human brain is as individual as the humans who posses one and the above are broad generalizations about brain and physical gender and one could easily have no conflict with their born gender while also having an a-typical "brain sex". This means that I am a woman and have been female 24/7 my whole life.. I am as female in a suit and tie as I am in a slinky dress. Very very few people get this so I'll say it again..

I have always thought/reacted/processed information in a very VERY typically female way. This is regardless of how I am dressed, so I am as female in a suit and tie as I am in a slinky dress. The clothes, makeup, hair and other articles that trigger "woman" in the average person's mind are useful to me in two very important ways:

1) Aside from being fun..time consuming, but fun... makeup and clothes serve the same purpose for me as they do for genetic women.. they help me feel better about how I look.

2) It helps people on the street know how to treat me and what to expect from me. Men and women treat each other very very differently. I feel a little guilty sometimes because guys used to let their guard down and treat me like "one of the guys"... it's really not fair to them *wink*

For me, gender is between the ears, not the legs (as told to me by someone more wise and lovely than I can ever hope to be). I think I'll leave with that statement whilst I ponder questions of gender/sexuality/politics/personality... I look forward to any and all comments and hope this gave someone some insight.