I so love to read the personal ads. It's a guilty pleasure of mine and a point of shame until figured out everyone I know reads them too. I particularly love to read the ads of guys looking for T-gals... who knows, maybe I'll find love (HA!).
What strikes me are the two most common requirements from men for T-gals.
1) Fully Functional
2) 100% Passable
OK, I have NO ISSUE with guys/gals/?? liking particular "types". We all have physical qualifications for our partners. We all have sexual desires and needs and a fantasy or two. I get all that. The thing is, I don't ever read ads for "Smart Trans-Lady who can hold a conversation". It's always " Seeking TV/TS with fully functional cock. MUST be cute and TOTALLY Passable."
The "P" word.. let's look at that one...
To the guy I'm sure he's thinking "Passable" means "Looks like a pretty woman". He has visions of Trans porn and the women who populate his fantasy life.
To a Trans woman, "Passable" means "I look enough like an average woman that I don't get laughed at in the mall by teen aged boys, I can shop for clothes at Target and actually use the changing room, the waiter will apologize when he mistakenly calls me 'sir'".
What happens on a date?
"Passable" becomes an impossible qualification for even attractive genetic women to meet. Every aspect of our face, body (damn those hands and feet), mannerisms, likes and dislikes, our sneezes and coughs and walk and laugh are all held to the strictest of gender-based ideals. If there is ANY variation from the strict ideal of "Feminine" the guy has his out and often a dig at us on his way out..
"You were a good lay, and you are cute.... buuuut I can still kinda see the guy in you. No offence, but I'll be going now."
"Passing" goes from something we try to do so we don't get our asses kicked; to a brand new unattainable standard of beauty reserved only for transwomen. I read comments from guys looking at pictures of "Shemale" porn stars and even THEY aren't passing enough. Passing becomes our own appendix to the beauty myth and a way for the men who date us to be cowards and blame it on us.
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3 comments:
Ugh, don't even get me started on this one...
More and more, natal women are having to contend with the "perfect woman" imagery that was concepted and developed by men for men. But when you're trans, this seems to be applied even more so. Especially since the silly little beasts apparently are incapable of igniting a single brain cell and separating reality from airbrushed fiction.
I even had one the other day blast after he got all up in arms at the mere suggestion (and made in jest) I made in a video that men in his circumstance are actually gay. His affirmation of his heteroSEXuality was that if someone were attracted to me, then yeah, obviously they would be gay. But if the tranny in question was a smokin', hot porno look-alike, then the opposite was true.
I recognize the comment for what it was - an attack. Yet I also sense that for him and others like him, they do in fact hold this to be the truth.
Best to be avoided altogether... Blah.
fuck guys like that. *bangs head on desk*. I saw the video - it was funy. There is so much to say on the topic of men who date TGs... TransBiSexual... umm... can we say that with a wink??
I'll 2nd RiftGirl on this one. Don't get me started. Some guys I think have this deep seated desire to have sex with anything that lives to prove just how "Manly" they are, but at the same time they are afraid of being labeled Gay or homosexual. Hence they chase TG/TS women. SO thier subconcious tells them they are having their way with a woman their intellect knows something else. As for "Passable" I know some GG who can't pass as women, so I don't know what the heck these idjits are talking about.
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