I'm tired of typing "guys who date girls like me" to refer to..umm.. guys who date girls like me. The thing is there are terms available, but I just don't like them. They conjure strange images or seem awkward, or are rather sexist. I'd like to come up with a term that's more specific than "guy" or "man" - I know labels are limiting and dehumanizing, but they are also useful as a mental shorthand to express ideas. I'd really like to get men involved in the discussion since ultimately, I think people should be able to define themselves.
Some of the terms used for guys in "the community" and my take on them are:
Admirer - This sounds like someone watching without participating. My interactions with "admirers" seems to back this up. They have tended to skulk on the sidelines, not talking to TGs. The guys at TG bars, nights, events who hang out by the bar and leer at us....
Tranny Chaser - This sounds more like something you order at a bar.. "I'd like a Bourbon with a Tranny Chaser". It also sounds a little creepy, and I can't help thinking of "Bug Chasers" (Nutty gay guys looking to be infected with HIV).
Hunters - This one actually pisses me off. It's used by guys who vacation in Thailand for the LadyBoy scene. It dehumanizes the LB as "prey" and feeds the male ego as "conqueror/hunter/hero". Also, as any actual hunter will tell you proper hunting requires skill and luck. It requires no skill for a flabby middle-aged white dude to plop in ass on a bar stool and have enough money to pat the bar fine and the time of his "prey".
TransBiSexual - I don't mind this one so much. It seems to indicate a guy who is attracted to non/pre - op gals as well as genetic women who is not attracted to men. The down side is it puts the focus on the sexual aspects only.
TransSexual Lover (TSL) (T-Lover) - Also not bad IMO. Although it could be augued how much "Love" comes into play here.
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4 comments:
I agree the usual labels are bad. Your reasons are good, but I think they also tend to convey the person is not interested in a relationship and its only a one time involvement. Which further objectifies those involved. Plus they all seemed to be aimed at men, which might be the main reason for your post. But I must imagine that there are women attracted to tg. And are there many trans men who date men? I never see that addressed. Ofcourse I have been to only a couple of tg websites, so not much experience. Are all or almost all transmen attracted to women?
I did focus on men, since that's where my romantic interests are. There are many women who date Trans* women. There are also lots of transmen who identify as gay men. I'll say most of the trans guys I know do like women. But the ratio is still pretty close.
I don't think I have ever even seen a label applied to women who date T-gals, except maybe lesbian/bi-sexual.... curious that.
I'm not sure which if any label would apply to me. I date Genetic woman and Trans women. I don't seek one or the other exclusively, but I also don't have any agenda other than making a good friend, and hopefully someday a soulmate and lifelong lover. I don't seek the short-term satisfaction of just sex, a relationship isn't about "just sex" it's about trust, love, companionship and understanding. Without those 4 things any relationship isn't going to make it in my opinion.
what about the label transamorous?
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